So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
