Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Just high enough for therapy.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
