Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
