A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
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