At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
