Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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