So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
