we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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