Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
The uberlube is also flammable
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
