dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
