2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
