We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
