so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Alive.
So much puke
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
