the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I had to cum in my sink.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
