Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
