She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
And then he peed in my hair
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