Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
