My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
