ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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