Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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