Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
