the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
