Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
