Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
