names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
