I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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