Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
