Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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