Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
