I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
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