If that was your dad, he is hot
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
