it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
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