PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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