I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
