it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
