I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
