margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
