filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
