9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
