Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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