You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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