how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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