So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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