I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
