Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
