I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
