You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
