Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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