Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
