I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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