i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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